When the Phone Rings: Paek Sa-Eon Husband of The Year!

Paek Sa-Eon, has officially won Husband of The Year 2024! (at least to many viewers)

When The Phone Rings was more than just a K-drama I watched for entertainment; it was an insightful and thought-provoking adaptation that brought depth to its narrative. It offered a rich interpretation of the story (webtoon) while positively diverging significantly in key aspects. Especially in Paek Sa-Eon’s character, as it the Webtoon, it seems he is a “Red Flag”, while in the K-drama, his character was tailored to serve as a “Green Flag”, setting an example for the “Perfect” husband. After tackling general psychological lessons to learn from the overall story, whether it was main leads or supporting characters, let’s start diving into each element of When The Phone Rings’ story, starting with Paek Sa-Eon’s character.

In When the Phone Rings, Baek Sa-Eon stands out as one of the most compelling and multifaceted characters. His story isn’t just about survival or revenge—it’s a nuanced exploration of justice, identity, and the struggles of navigating a world that often demands emotional suppression for the sake of ambition. From being thrust into a fabricated life to his relentless pursuit of exposing his “fake family’s” crimes, Sa-Eon’s journey is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the complexities of relationships.

But beyond the drama, his story offers a wealth of lessons about self-awareness, growth, and moral courage. Through his triumphs and flaws, we gain insights into how our choices, communication, and values shape not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us. This post delves into the psychological and life lessons we can draw from Baek Sa-eon’s character, supported by insights from neuroscience and psychology, to inspire reflection and growth in our own journeys.

1. A Strong Sense of Justice as a Guiding Compass

• The Story Connection: Sa-eon’s ultimate goal was to expose the crimes and wrongdoings of the fake family he was forced into, even at the cost of personal sacrifice. He upheld principles of honesty and fairness in his work, refusing to succumb to the family’s corrupt practices. His sense of justice drove him to build power and independence while remaining incorruptible.
• Scientific Insight:
  • Studies in moral psychology suggest that individuals with a strong sense of justice are motivated by intrinsic values rather than external rewards. Such values activate the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which is involved in decision-making aligned with moral principles (Greene et al., 2001).
  • Sa-eon’s integrity mirrors the psychological importance of sticking to one’s ethical beliefs, which fosters self-respect and resilience in the face of adversity.

---

2. The Importance of Self-Reflection and Repentance

• The Story Connection: After discovering that his wife (Hong Hee-Joo) was blackmailing him as 406, Sa-Eon did not confront or judge her. Instead, he reflected on how his own actions and lack of communication had contributed to her distress. He took actionable steps to improve their marriage, learning about her needs and making silent amends for his past mistakes. This is the part I appreciate most about his character. It’s rare to find someone who won’t judge you for deceiving them and will instead try to put themselves in your shoes. This deep understanding of the motives behind our mistakes and non-judgmental behavior creates an emotionally and psychologically safe space for us as humans. It feels liberating not to constantly stress about making mistakes. How many of us have been hurt by the lack of this understanding in our lives? It makes my eyes teary!
• Scientific Insight:
  • Self-reflection is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, promoting better relationships and personal growth. It engages the default mode network of the brain, which supports introspection and understanding of others’ perspectives (Lieberman, 2007).
  • Sa-eon’s efforts to repent align with the psychological concept of reparative behaviors, which rebuild trust and emotional bonds in strained relationships (Gottman, 1999).

---

3. The Value of Nonjudgmental Understanding

• The Story Connection: Despite feeling betrayed and hurt, Sa-Eon avoided adopting a victim mindset. He empathized with his wife’s actions, recognizing her desperation and anger were rooted in misunderstandings and unaddressed emotional pain. By stepping into her shoes, he transformed his feelings of betrayal into a drive for improvement.
• Scientific Insight:
  • Empathy activates the anterior insula and anterior cingulate cortex, which are critical for understanding others’ emotions and responding compassionately. Practicing nonjudgmental understanding strengthens interpersonal connections and fosters conflict resolution (Singer et al., 2004).

---

4. Miscommunication and the Ripple Effect

• The Story Connection: Sa-Eon’s dismissive remark during the staged kidnapping triggered a cascade of misunderstandings, leading his wife to believe he wished her dead. This highlights how unintentional actions and miscommunication can deeply impact relationships.
• Scientific Insight:
  • Miscommunication often arises from confirmation bias and a lack of active listening, as individuals interpret words through their own emotional filters. Neuroscience emphasizes the importance of active listening in engaging the mirror neuron system, which enhances mutual understanding (Iacoboni, 2008).

---

5. Personal Growth Through Silent Efforts

• The Story Connection: Sa-Eon worked behind the scenes to learn about his wife’s preferences and meet her needs, demonstrating a silent yet impactful form of love and repentance. His approach underscores the power of actions over words in repairing relationships.
• Scientific Insight:
  • Actions rooted in sincerity and emotional awareness engage the brain’s reward system, strengthening positive reinforcement and creating lasting impressions on others. Silent efforts often carry more emotional weight than verbal promises, especially in strained relationships (Decety & Cowell, 2014).

---

What to Filter Out from Baek Sa-eon’s Story

1. Avoiding Confrontation: While Sa-Eon’s silent efforts were commendable, direct communication could have addressed misunderstandings sooner and more effectively.
2. Emotional Bottling: His reluctance to express emotions caused prolonged inner turmoil and distance in his relationships. Emotional suppression can hinder mental well-being and connection with others.
3. Misplaced Assumptions: Assuming his wife hated him led to unnecessary emotional walls. Open dialogue is crucial in breaking down such barriers.

Practical Takeaways for Readers

• Cultivate a Sense of Justice: Stand by your values even in challenging situations. Integrity strengthens long-term respect and trust.
• Reflect Before Reacting: When faced with conflicts, take time to understand the other person’s perspective. Self-awareness prevents escalation and promotes growth.
• Prioritize Communication: Silence is not always golden! Expressing emotions and clarifying misunderstandings build healthier relationships.
• Practice Empathy: Walk in someone else’s shoes before passing judgment. Empathy transforms conflicts into opportunities for connection.
• Lead with Actions: Consistent efforts to improve relationships often speak louder than words! Show love and commitment through meaningful actions! (I cannot stress this enough!)

Written and delivered with passion, care and love,