When the Phone Rings: Lessons to Learn.

As we wrap up our journey with When the Phone Rings with its 12th and last episode, we keep the beautiful memories we shared as viewers. The thrill over the outcome of each event, the suspense in figuring out the culprit and unveiling the secrets and thin lines of the story line. The hilarious memes shared on social media, the very famous breath-taking edits of the leads, especially the male lead Paek Sa-Eon (Yes, the best edits!)

That being said, When The Phone Rings is more than a suspenseful thriller; it’s a thought-provoking exploration of human psychology, morality, and societal challenges. Beyond the gripping plot twists and stellar performances, the drama offers valuable life lessons and warnings against toxic behaviors. Let’s delve into these lessons with insights from neuroscience and psychology.

1. The Power of Communication is the highlight of When The Phone Rings

Lesson: Miscommunication can destroy relationships and lead to catastrophic consequences. When The Phone Rings Hong Hee-Joo and Paek Sa-Eon’s characters’ choices are often misguided due to withheld truths or poorly expressed emotions. Starting from their marriage vows to Paek Sa-Eon’s multilayered words through the 3 years of their marriage. It is ironic how both of them work in communication-related jobs, yet they both suffer from miscommunication with each other.

Scientific Insight: According to studies on communication in psychology, the inability to articulate emotions increases stress levels and damages trust. Active listening and assertive communication are vital for healthy relationships (Gottman & Silver, 1999). The series ends with Paek Sa-Eon and Hong Hee-Joo’s speech of how now they are honest, have open and clear communication and their decision to make an effort to be happier in their marriage.

What to Filter: Avoid bottling up emotions or assuming others understand your intentions without clear dialogue.

2. Confronting Shame and Self-Doubt

Lesson: When The Phone Rings lead characters struggle with shame (Paek Sa-Eon), self-doubt (Hong Hee-Jo and Paek Sa-Eon), and feelings of inadequacy (Hong Hee-Joo). These emotions prevented them from reaching their full potential, resolving conflicts and healing. Once they both faced their childhood traumas and figured the source of their emotions, they started healing together. What was more wholesome is their unconditional acceptance of each others’ imperfections, and embracing their respective darkest hidden parts. Acceptance sets us free.

Scientific Insight: Research on shame (Brown, 2006) reveals it triggers the brain’s threat detection systems, leading to avoidance and defensiveness. Practicing self-compassion and seeking support are proven antidotes.

What to Filter: Don’t let societal expectations dictate your worth or choices. Address feelings of inadequacy by cultivating self-awareness and seeking therapy when necessary.

3. The Importance of Identity and Authenticity concepts in When The Phone Rings

Lesson: The narrative of When The Phone Rings highlights the dangers of living to please others, as seen in characters who lose themselves to societal and familial expectations. Hong Hee-Joo as the obedient girl to her mother, seeking her love and living in the shadow of her step-sister Hong In-a. Shim Kyu-jin (Paek Sa-Eon’s “mother”) lost herself to Baek Jang-ho’s (the grandfather) expectations as his daughter-in-law (the privilege of being influential and rich) sacrificing her son. Kim Yeon-hui (Hee-Joo’s mother) in her greed and longing to be part of the elite, shameful of her past as a former club singer lost herself to an obsession of becoming the president’s co-in-law.

Scientific Insight: Neuroscience research emphasizes the role of authenticity in mental health. Living authentically activates the brain’s reward system, fostering emotional well-being (Ryan & Deci, 2000).

What to Filter: Resist external pressures to conform. Embrace your identity and values as they align with your goals.

4. Standing Against Corruption and Wrongdoings

Lesson: The story of When The Phone Rings demonstrates that remaining silent in the face of wrongdoing enables further harm. Hong In-a’s passive stances contributed to Hong Hee-Joo’s suffering. Had she ever stood up for her younger step-sister against her mother, their relationship might have been stronger and Hong Hee-Joo would have had a supportive sister. This could have immensely helped Hee-Joo overcome the psychological weight of her mother’s manipulation and gas-lighting.

Scientific Insight: The “bystander effect” occurs when individuals assume others will intervene, leading to inaction. Social psychology suggests overcoming this requires personal responsibility and moral courage (Darley & Latané, 1968).

What to Filter: Refuse complicity through silence. Take action when witnessing injustice, even in personal circles. Which also reminds us of the Palestinian cause. Staying silent, means you are an accomplice.

Please remember: “The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis” –Dante Alighieri ; The Divine Comedy.

5. The Consequences of Neglect and Avoidance

Lesson: in the drama When The Phone Rings, Baek Jang-ho’s (the grandfather) tragic and cruel path highlights the dangers of ignoring mental health issues in loved ones for fear of societal judgment. Had he cared about his grandson, the latter would have received therapy and treatment since a young age. The monster, wouldn’t have been born. They still had a chance when he was a child. However, his grandfather refused that his name be drugged through the mud by societal stigma and preferred the presidential race over his family’s bonding and love.

Scientific Insight: Early intervention in mental health can significantly improve outcomes. Stigma only worsens conditions, delaying critical treatment (Corrigan & Watson, 2002).

What to Filter: Normalize seeking therapy and mental health support for yourself and others. Avoid enabling destructive behaviors by confronting problems directly.

6. Gratitude for Life’s Blessings

Lesson: Lots of When The Phone Rings characters took their privileges for granted and were faced with the potential of losing them, leading to regret. Both Paek Sa-Eon and Hong Hee-Joo wasted 3 full years in misunderstandings, miscommunication, and unyielding plans. Had they forced the other to hear them out and talked their heart out, had they faced each other with what they truly think and feel; they would have spent more time of an ordinary marital life. Hong Hee-Joo’s mother would have a better relationship with her daughter, had she not used her to climb the ladder. Had she not took her for granted. The story of When The Phone Rings underscores the importance of cherishing relationships, time with loved ones and opportunities.

Scientific Insight: Neuroscience links gratitude to increased activity in the brain’s reward systems, enhancing overall happiness and resilience (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

What to Filter: Practice daily gratitude. Recognize and nurture the good in your life to maintain perspective and balance.

To sum up, this K-Drama was a good watch in terms of artistry, cinematography, OSTs, acting, production and direction. It was also a hit in terms of psychological aspects as well, which is not a surprise in K-dramas. Despite the controversy on the ending, it remains a significant wrap up of 2024 k-dramas.

I will still write about it though, so even if its broadcasting has ended, there are still things to say. Especially each character-wise learning, storytelling style, acting and screenplay and their direct impact on viewers.

Meanwhile, have you ever thought about why do we get attached and influenced by some productions and not others?

How can a K-drama has the effect of changing your mood every Friday and Saturday after a long week? Why now all of a sudden you feel gloomy not to watch it? I mean eventually, it’s just a bunch of artists pretending?! Right?

Or maybe not…

Let me know in your comments: What was the effect of this K-Drama on your life when it was being aired?

Love,

Scientific References:

• Brown, B. (2006). I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t). Penguin.
• Corrigan, P. W., & Watson, A. C. (2002). Understanding the impact of stigma on people with mental illness. World Psychiatry, 1(1), 16.
• Darley, J. M., & Latané, B. (1968). Bystander intervention in emergencies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8(4).
• Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377.
• Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68.